NFL's Not Transparent with Its New All Clear Policy

If you're friends with me on Facebook, you know my disdain for the NFL's new "All Clear" policy. As an NFL Season Ticket holder whose ticket cost went up by about 57% this year without changing seats, the last thing I wanted was for insult to be added to my pocketbook's injury.

If you still need background, the NFL owners decided in the offseason to implement a stronger security policy. That's great. I'm all for security. I may not be the most paranoid person in the world, but I appreciate that a terrorist may like to blow up a stadium with 60,000 - 100,000 people inside. So yay for security! But the NFL didn't just increase security; they lied while doing it. I'm assuming the NFL took a cue from the NSA here and figured that lying is OK if it's in the interest of security. Well, as the NSA is learning, lying to the American people is simply not cool (just look at any recent op-ed page).

One of the NFL's new security initiatives is its new All Clear policy. This policy restricts the types of bags that are permitted into NFL stadiums. In the NFL's own words, at http://www.nfl.com/allclear, only the following types of bags are permitted into NFL stadiums during the 2013-14 NFL season.

• Bags that are clear plastic, vinyl or PVC and do not exceed 12” x 6” x 12.”

• Small clutch bags [no larger than 4.5" x 6.5"], approximately the size of a hand, with or without a handle or strap can be taken into the stadium with one of the clear plastic bags.

• An exception will be made for medically necessary items after proper inspection at a gate designated for this purpose.

On the surface, I'll admit this doesn't seem too bad. They're not allowing diaper bags, which is the kicker for those of us with kids. If you have kids, you know that diaper bags consist not only of diapers, but of wipes, changes of clothes for those inevitable leakages, hand sanitizer, and changing pads. Those items alone probably wouldn't fit into a clear plastic gallon-size bag (or even two). That makes the policy very inconvenient, especially when, as season ticket holders, we can go to up to 10 regular season games each year.

But if you see us go to an MLB stadium, our normal cargo consists of my Coach purse (which is not at all a clutch), our Skip Hop Dash diaper bag, a cooler bag with our meal, and a reusable shopping bag full of snacks and bottled water. All shoved into our Uppababy Vista or G-Luxe stroller. We never have issues with security lines and we always offer all of our bags to check.

Maybe if I wasn't such a horrible packer, I'd manage with just a few bags. But I always pack to much. It's probably the Jewish mother in me, but I only fly Southwest just to have that baggage allowance. And trust me, we literally use every ounce and piece of that baggage allowance. So, you can imagine my horror to think that it could take me an hour to pack us correctly for a family outing using our season tickets.

As a rational person who didn't want to rush to judgement, I decided to read the full pdf of the NFL's policy. The policy states, in pertinent part:

This public safety measure is being successfully used at other large venues. The University of Michigan, Penn State University and Michigan State University do not permit any bags, while the TD Garden in Boston only permits clutch bags.

Naturally, I wanted to see the policies of these venues for myself. Unsurprisingly, the NFL miscategorized each and every policy they listed here. Here's the rundown:

Michigan Stadium (a.k.a. "The Big House" of University of Michigan)

Michigan Stadium's website cites the following:

 Prohibited Items
All bags (including purses)... 

Medical exceptions will be addressed individually at the gates. Those requiring necessary items (i.e. diapers for a baby, medical prescriptions, etc.) are encouraged to carry them into the stadium in a clear plastic bag.

Admittedly, UMich's policy is more restrictive than the NFL's policy. However, the NFL stated, "The University of Michigan... [does] not permit any bags." UMich does permit clear plastic bags in limited circumstances.

Beaver Stadium (Penn State University)

Beaver Stadium's website cites the following:

Article [stet] and items that may not be brought into the stadium:
...Backpacks
Bags, including diaper bags and purses larger than 8-1/2"x11"x11"

Last I checked, bags 8.5"x11"x11" and smaller were still bags. Thus, the NFL is incorrect when it stated, "Penn State University... [does] not permit any bags."

Spartan Stadium (Michigan State University)

Spartan Stadium's website cites the following:

Prohibited Items
Bags larger than 5 1/2" x 8 1/2" x 2" (including purses, fanny packs, backpacks, and diaper bags)

Like UMich and Penn State, MSU allows bags. They may not be big bags, but they're not required to be clear and they're larger than the clutches the NFL is permitting.

TD Garden

Finally, the NFL cited TD Garden as only allowing "clutch bags." TD Garden's website is slightly confusing when it states:

All guests will be subject to search, at TD Garden’s discretion, of their person and/or possessions (including women’s handbags of normal size that may be allowed entry after such search).... 

Prohibited Items
...Bags or briefcases

I admittedly didn't quite know the meaning of "normal size." Fortunately, I hail from the Boston area and I have a high school friend who attends many games at the Gahhden. In her words:

They basically let in any size purse or diaper bag after they have been searched, but they don't let in backpacks and laptop bags. They've gotten much stricter since the Boston Marathon bombings about checking all bags and not allowing oversize bags in...

A woman's "purse" the size of a suitcase will get in but a guy coming from work with a laptop gets turned away.

I may not be the fashionista on accessories, but I'm pretty sure there's no such thing as a suitcase as small as a 4.5"x6.5" clutch.

Final Thoughts

I wouldn't mind the NFL's All Clear policy as much if I didn't have kids. In fact, I miss the days when I could go to an amusement park with all my money shoved into a little wrist pack and could go on roller coasters bag-free. But, I also expect that a professional sports league that got close to $1,600 in tickets alone from me this year to at least have the decency to fact-check. It's as if the NFL hired the same interns the NTSB did this summer.

So, NFL, if you're reading this blog post, please change your policy. Or at least quote the policies of other stadiums correctly. If you don't, I'm just going to assume Dan Snyder came up with this policy to ensure that never again would anyone be turned away from FedEx field for wearing paper bags over their heads or bringing signs into the stadium.

A Thank You to My Mother

My mother has always told me I am perfect just the way I am. I cannot recall a time she made a negative comment about any aspect of my natural appearance, whether it be my looks, my clothes, my weight, or my makeup (or lack thereof).

I never felt pressured lose weight when my pediatrician recommended it because my mother had me convinced 150 lbs was skinny for a teenager. She thought I was just as skinny when I was 30 lbs lighter 10 years later.

When I started wearing makeup in high school she would always tell me I didn't need it because my face was naturally beautiful. I didn't have clear skin, but she never saw those imperfections, and to this day I'm often convinced other people cannot see them either.

I thank my mother for always telling me I'm beautiful when I've needed to know it the most -- always. I've needed to hear this from her when I was dressed like a clown for my 5th grade play, at graduations, under the weather, under the chuppah, 7 months pregnant, and every Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday in between.

Mothers, please tell your daughters that they are beautiful because they are. Your daughters do not need anything to mask their G-d-given beauty. They only need your support, praise, and love. And mothers, you are beautiful, too.

Eradicating Judgement from our Hearts

This post is not about clothing to buy. This post is a reaction to the toxic attitudes of many in the Orthodox world, not just Charedim in Israel, toward those who do not dress "tsnuis enough." Please note that this blog exists for me to share my personal shopping habit and it is not meant to coerce anyone to dress in a manner that makes her feel uncomfortable.

This post was spurred by the recent events in Beit Shemesh. I will not recount them here. If you don't know what's going on yet, google "Beit Shemesh" and I guarantee you'll get more news than you want. I am unequivocally against crimes against the students of the school and the adults who defend them, and I hope that every perpetrator is brought to justice, if not in this world, then in Olam Habah.

But I don't think this is just a Chareidi issue. This is an Orthodox issue in general. Those who do not dress or act in a completely Orthodox fashion are ridiculed by Orthodox Jews of all persuasions; Modern, Centrist, Chareidi, and even Datla"sh (formerly religious). Let me start by telling some of my own story.

I started becoming observant during my freshman year in college. I met an attractive guy (not my husband) in the Kosher Dining Hall (KDH) during the first Hillel Friday night dinner. It turns out this guy was raised Orthodox, although he was no longer shomer mitzvot. I started eating in the KDH with him regularly. At the KDH, I met a number of Orthodox women my age from the nearby Orthodox community and I began spending Shabbatot and school breaks with their families. With the help of these friends, I began my religious journey.

The journey was rocky. One day that year, I was dressed tsnuisly at the Kosher supermarket in this community looking for Kosher vitamins with my chest-baring, non-tzitzit and non-kippah wearing boyfriend. While we were searching for these vitamins, a woman overheard me getting frustrated looking for these vitamins. Instead of directing me to their location, or suggesting I ask customer service, she told me to go next door to Rite Aid for vitamins in a very negative tone. The only thing we both thought is that she didn't think we belonged in a Kosher supermarket. Needless to say, it was not the best introduction to the general Orthodox population.

Fast forward to the summer. A family was very kind in allowing me to stay with them for free so that I could be in the Orthodox community. In the middle of the summer, this family had a last-minute (to me) male overnight guest who happened to be quite knowledgeable about halacha. He stayed up all night = answering many of my questions and patiently explaining a lot about texts. We were in the living room of the house with occupied bedrooms surrounding us. We got coffee at about 4:00 or 5:00 AM because we weren't going to get any rest. He left that morning, and I had a fairly busy day. When I returned, I was called some of the similar names the girls in Beit Shemesh are being called and given a very short period of time to get out of their house. Nothing had happened between us, and I was pretty distraught. To act out, I went on a big (about $1,000) shopping spree of all very non-tznuis clothing. I never violated Shabbat or Kashrut, though, as a result of this situation.

By the end of the fall, a little over a year after I began becoming observant, I became as fully observant as I was for a number of years. I met my husband that fall and we began dating in the winter. We were engaged in the early summer, but we didn't get married until 2.5 years later.

I learned that many people were quite vocal in their displeasure of our long engagement. I stopped meeting new people and making friends in the Jewish community because I got tired of being derided for having a long engagement. I would estimate that over 90% of the Orthodox people I met made it clear to me that the length of my engagement was wrong. I was 19 when I got engaged. I got married at 22. My husband was 20 when we got engaged. He was 23 when we got married. We couldn't have supported ourselves until our wedding date because my husband was still in school and I only started working a few months before our wedding.

In the year I took to become observant, I wasn't perfect. For example, there was one time when I turned the light off in a friend's bathroom on Shabbat when I wasn't thinking. I was so embarrassed, I turned it back on knowing that I violated Shabbat.

Why am I sharing this? Because becoming observant and growing more observant even when born Orthodox is a process; it doesn't happen overnight. I liken the ba'al(at) teshuvah process to pregnancy and childbirth; it's long, drawn out, and painful when you're observance is growing rapidly, but when you reach your goal of "Orthodox" you forget how difficult that process was. I, for one, often forget and I will sometimes instinctively have negative thoughts about posts of friends and celebrities who are growing in observance but haven't reached the vaulted "Orthodox" status. Then, I will remember to shut my mouth and appreciate their growth. I wish everyone else would.

I am a fan of Mayim Bialek on Facebook. She played Blossom as a teenager in the 90s, which was one of my favorite TV shows growing up. She now plays Amy Farrah Fowler on the Big Bang Theory, one of my current favorite shows. She also happens to be growing in her observance of Judaism.

Ms. Bialek posts about her growth, and she also posts about how she doesn't observe all the mitzvot and gives examples of how she doesn't observe everything. For instance, she had to tape episodes of the Big Bang Theory over the first days of Sukkot. She wrote an article about this on Kveller and posted the article to her Facebook page. Ms. Bialek has never called herself Orthodox, but it didn't stop the negative comments from Orthodox fans. Instead of congratulating her on trying to grow in observance of the mitzvot and informing masses of people, including many less or unaffiliated Jews that there are halachot, her lack of Orthodox observance was bashed in a lot the comments. These comments are now removed from the post on Facebook and on Kveller. She also had to remove so many Facebook posts from her Kveller article on her Emmy's dress, that she only has 25 comments remaining. That article was the last in a four-part series documenting her search for a "Hot and Holy" dress for the Emmys, in other words, a dress that didn't leave nothing to the imagination. Because her dress had a cutout across the top of her breasts, her dress choice was blasted in many comments for essentially not being tsnuis enough for this blog.

I'm going to go out on a limb and assuming that the "Sikrikim" Chareidim in Israel are not on Facebook and certainly not fans of Mayim Bialek. Most likely, the same people who post negative comments on Ms. Bialek's posts are the same people who watch the events in Israel in horror. But when it comes down to it, their attitude toward others' observance is not much different than the Sikrikim. We will not be able to eradicate the violent behavior from our midst until we eradicate the judgement of our fellow Jews from our hearts.

Update: I just received an Asara B'Tevet email from Rabbi Silber of Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim in Baltimore. Rabbi Silber is an absolutely amazing rav, and he said something similar to what I said in this post, but he said it far more eloquently.