$10 Denim Skirt, a.k.a. J.C. Penney, Part Deux

I've been singing the praises of J.C. Penney a lot lately. So much so that I feel like the recent Ellen Degeneres commercials for J.C. Penney are the stories of my life. Now, it's my turn to share more of my new-found love with you.

You may know that J.C. Penney recently went through a rebranding. A really big rebranding. They eschewed sales, instead opting for a "fair and square" pricing and returns policy. Basically, their regular prices are similar to Target and their return policy is the same as Nordstrom's. They even changed their logo. And it really seems like a different store. Not only are they standing behind their products, but from my unscientific analysis walking around the store, the new prices are about 50% less than the old original prices. That's right, the new regular prices are as good or better than the best sale prices used to be. That's exciting news, at least to a shopping fanatic like me.

So how does this play into more tznua clothing? Well, I just scored the Rocker Maxi Skirt by Bisou Bisou in Bisou Bisou's Dark Denim Collection. It has a more descriptive but less colorful name on the website. I'm reading the name off the tag. If you wear mermaid skirts, this skirt is near perfection. It fits extraordinarily well, is the perfect length for us taller women (it feels like a 39" skirt rather than the 41" listed on the website), and is a beautiful color. Order it in what you consider your "normal" size, not your size in clothing that's sized large. It fits the same as other Bisou Bisou skirts if your know your size in the brand. Since it's mermaid, it cannot be a true denim. Instead, it's 75% cotton, 23% polyester, and 2% spandex. The spandex really helps it stretch well to make walking comfortable.



Yes, the keychain is easily detachable.

The skirt is currently available in every size 2 through 18 for $25 online right now. In store, the current price is $10. Yes, that's right. $10. I recommend buying the skirt online and going to the store with your receipt for a price adjustment. Or, buy more than one and price adjust both. I now own two of this skirt.

I know it's not 100% cotton denim. It's not going to be able to replace everything a perfect real denim skirt can do. I really miss my old perfect $12 Gap denim skirt I had for 10 years before the fabric finally decided to disappear in the dryer. It really made me regret not buying the $100 7 for All Mankind long denim skirt from C-Mart (may it rest in peace) that I passed on 6 years ago because it was $100 and my salary was not supportive of such a purchase. I still haven't found skirts that are that good. But this Bisou Bisou skirt is a pretty good second and I'm not going to allow myself to be stuck without a long denim skirt again.

Also, I want to touch briefly on my recent shoe purchases. I'm not much of a shoe gal. I don't see much purpose in owning 6 different pairs of patent leather black dressy sandals, 4 pairs of black boots, 3 pairs of brown boots, etc. I like to keep a pair of black sandals, a pair of brown sandals, a pair of black patent high heel (4") sandals, a pair of black boots, a pair of brown boots, one pair of black dressy all-purpose flats, a pair of sneakers, a pair of flip flops, and a pair of non-leather shoes for Yom Kippur/Tisha B'Av. It's that time of year when I've pretty much worn out every pair of shoe I own and I'm trying to rebuild my shoe wardrobe, and maybe add a few extra pairs for fun. I've made several large orders at Nordstrom, including many pairs of Cole Haans, but they appear to be underwhelming. I'm downright disappointed in the cheap plastic materials used to make the platforms of the $158 and $168 pairs of Cole Haan shoes I bought (both in the Air Tali family). I understand that's the lowest price point for Cole Haan, but the shoes look cheap (although the leather is very soft) and they didn't even come with dust bags.

On the other hand, I just scored 2 pairs of $27 leather sandals, in black and tan, at J.C. Penney this evening. They may not win any fashion awards, but they seen to be very serviceable as everyday sandals for the office, long walks, shul (yes I'm casual, sorry), shopping, and everywhere else. The footbed is very comfortable even though it's definitely not leather (but the straps are leather).



So why would I buy $27 sandals at J.C. Penney when I'm a Nordstrom shoe junkie who's normal pair of shoes cost between $100 and $200? Because J.C. Penney is standing behind their products like Nordstrom now. I can wear these sandals out and if I don't like them I can return them. That's a really nice offer. This is the return policy that has prevented me from overstocking shoes over the past 10 years. Maybe now I'll even start saving both money and space because of it.

In short, kudos, J.C. Penney.

Shailene Woodley of the Descendents Wears Tsnius Dress to the Oscars!

You heard it here first! And here's a picture! The back is also crewneck. The dress is by Valentino Couture Spring/Summer 2012 Collection (which has at least 4 tsnius styles). And according to the link, she chose this dress because it has long sleeves! It's apparently chilly for Hollywood tonight, which may be why she made this decision, but I think it's exciting to have a 20-year old actress choose to wear a modest dress for a change!

Amazing Dress at JC Penney!

So this weekend I went shopping, primarily for my 20-month old son. But I couldn't help but stroll by the dresses section at J.C. Penney. And what did I find but this gorgeous red number by American Living (J.C. Penney's private label by Polo Ralph Lauren) for the low price of $34. I know the site says $90, but it's $34 in store. This past weekend, the store in Lakeforest Mall in Gaithersburg, MD had almost every size in red and bright violet ($45).  And when I had a different store pull up locations to buy the dress, there were many locations in the Maryland and DC area that still had it in stock. You can call your local store for inventory before stopping by. This dress is form fitting, and I think it looks best when worn one or two sizes smaller than your normal size. It stretches and it looks like it adds weight where it's baggy. The red dress is perfect for a date night with the husband, or when you want to be the center of attention, such as at your engagement party or your sister-in-law's engagement party (just kidding... maybe). The violet dress is perfect for attending a wedding, shul, or anywhere else where you don't want to completely stand out in the crowd (your best friend's engagement party, perhaps?).

It looked great with my black leather boots when I tried it on (but then again, what doesn't?). I think both colors would look wicked attractive with 4"-5" black patent leather pumps, but my coworker suggesting going with nude pumps with the red dress. What it comes down to is that it's incredibly easy to accessorize this dress and be a show stopper.



Please note, the dress covers my knees. I would suspect that the model is at least 6'0" or the dress was hemmed for pictures.

When purchasing a form-fitting dress, or really any clothing for that matter, it's important to stress the importance of proper undergarments. I believe the #1 most un-tznius thing a woman can have showing are panty lines through her skirt. And I see it all the time on people who try to dress very modestly. I think Spanx would be best with this dress for the most flattering fit, but it's not necessary. If you're not going the Spanx route, I would go for undergarments by Hanky Panky ($18/each unless you find discontinued styles on sale for about $12-$14) or a knock-off (Victoria's Secret's goes for 3 for $30). And make sure no matter what you wear underneath, make sure the sides of all your undergarments are smooth to your body and are not folded in any way.

Lilo Maternity on Zulily until January 8

Zulily has 82 items by Lilo Maternity for sale from today until 9:00 AM EDT on Sunday, January 8. Lilo Maternity is a line of maternity clothing geared for the Orthodox Jewish woman. They have stores online and in Lakewood, Brooklyn, Monroe, and Yerushalayim. There are also stores in Baltimore and Monsey that carry the line.

Many of the shirts in the site are tznua without requiring layering. For everyone who doesn't mind layering, they also have a half-tanktop in white for $10.99 on the sale. The skirts on the sale are their shorter-length skirts and will not cover the knees of taller women while sitting. I believe the skirts are the equivalent of about a 24" length skirt non-pregnancy. Lilo Maternity sells tall versions of their knee length and long skirts on their websites and in their stores. The tall versions are probably the equivalent of a 27" or 28" skirt pre-pregnancy when looking for a skirt past the knee.

Zulily often has Lilo Maternity sales, and they have the best prices you will find on this line. If you know what your size is for Lilo and you like any of the items on the sale, I would recommend buying them through Zulily, unless you prefer to support your local Lilo store and keep your spending money within the Jewish community.

Eradicating Judgement from our Hearts

This post is not about clothing to buy. This post is a reaction to the toxic attitudes of many in the Orthodox world, not just Charedim in Israel, toward those who do not dress "tsnuis enough." Please note that this blog exists for me to share my personal shopping habit and it is not meant to coerce anyone to dress in a manner that makes her feel uncomfortable.

This post was spurred by the recent events in Beit Shemesh. I will not recount them here. If you don't know what's going on yet, google "Beit Shemesh" and I guarantee you'll get more news than you want. I am unequivocally against crimes against the students of the school and the adults who defend them, and I hope that every perpetrator is brought to justice, if not in this world, then in Olam Habah.

But I don't think this is just a Chareidi issue. This is an Orthodox issue in general. Those who do not dress or act in a completely Orthodox fashion are ridiculed by Orthodox Jews of all persuasions; Modern, Centrist, Chareidi, and even Datla"sh (formerly religious). Let me start by telling some of my own story.

I started becoming observant during my freshman year in college. I met an attractive guy (not my husband) in the Kosher Dining Hall (KDH) during the first Hillel Friday night dinner. It turns out this guy was raised Orthodox, although he was no longer shomer mitzvot. I started eating in the KDH with him regularly. At the KDH, I met a number of Orthodox women my age from the nearby Orthodox community and I began spending Shabbatot and school breaks with their families. With the help of these friends, I began my religious journey.

The journey was rocky. One day that year, I was dressed tsnuisly at the Kosher supermarket in this community looking for Kosher vitamins with my chest-baring, non-tzitzit and non-kippah wearing boyfriend. While we were searching for these vitamins, a woman overheard me getting frustrated looking for these vitamins. Instead of directing me to their location, or suggesting I ask customer service, she told me to go next door to Rite Aid for vitamins in a very negative tone. The only thing we both thought is that she didn't think we belonged in a Kosher supermarket. Needless to say, it was not the best introduction to the general Orthodox population.

Fast forward to the summer. A family was very kind in allowing me to stay with them for free so that I could be in the Orthodox community. In the middle of the summer, this family had a last-minute (to me) male overnight guest who happened to be quite knowledgeable about halacha. He stayed up all night = answering many of my questions and patiently explaining a lot about texts. We were in the living room of the house with occupied bedrooms surrounding us. We got coffee at about 4:00 or 5:00 AM because we weren't going to get any rest. He left that morning, and I had a fairly busy day. When I returned, I was called some of the similar names the girls in Beit Shemesh are being called and given a very short period of time to get out of their house. Nothing had happened between us, and I was pretty distraught. To act out, I went on a big (about $1,000) shopping spree of all very non-tznuis clothing. I never violated Shabbat or Kashrut, though, as a result of this situation.

By the end of the fall, a little over a year after I began becoming observant, I became as fully observant as I was for a number of years. I met my husband that fall and we began dating in the winter. We were engaged in the early summer, but we didn't get married until 2.5 years later.

I learned that many people were quite vocal in their displeasure of our long engagement. I stopped meeting new people and making friends in the Jewish community because I got tired of being derided for having a long engagement. I would estimate that over 90% of the Orthodox people I met made it clear to me that the length of my engagement was wrong. I was 19 when I got engaged. I got married at 22. My husband was 20 when we got engaged. He was 23 when we got married. We couldn't have supported ourselves until our wedding date because my husband was still in school and I only started working a few months before our wedding.

In the year I took to become observant, I wasn't perfect. For example, there was one time when I turned the light off in a friend's bathroom on Shabbat when I wasn't thinking. I was so embarrassed, I turned it back on knowing that I violated Shabbat.

Why am I sharing this? Because becoming observant and growing more observant even when born Orthodox is a process; it doesn't happen overnight. I liken the ba'al(at) teshuvah process to pregnancy and childbirth; it's long, drawn out, and painful when you're observance is growing rapidly, but when you reach your goal of "Orthodox" you forget how difficult that process was. I, for one, often forget and I will sometimes instinctively have negative thoughts about posts of friends and celebrities who are growing in observance but haven't reached the vaulted "Orthodox" status. Then, I will remember to shut my mouth and appreciate their growth. I wish everyone else would.

I am a fan of Mayim Bialek on Facebook. She played Blossom as a teenager in the 90s, which was one of my favorite TV shows growing up. She now plays Amy Farrah Fowler on the Big Bang Theory, one of my current favorite shows. She also happens to be growing in her observance of Judaism.

Ms. Bialek posts about her growth, and she also posts about how she doesn't observe all the mitzvot and gives examples of how she doesn't observe everything. For instance, she had to tape episodes of the Big Bang Theory over the first days of Sukkot. She wrote an article about this on Kveller and posted the article to her Facebook page. Ms. Bialek has never called herself Orthodox, but it didn't stop the negative comments from Orthodox fans. Instead of congratulating her on trying to grow in observance of the mitzvot and informing masses of people, including many less or unaffiliated Jews that there are halachot, her lack of Orthodox observance was bashed in a lot the comments. These comments are now removed from the post on Facebook and on Kveller. She also had to remove so many Facebook posts from her Kveller article on her Emmy's dress, that she only has 25 comments remaining. That article was the last in a four-part series documenting her search for a "Hot and Holy" dress for the Emmys, in other words, a dress that didn't leave nothing to the imagination. Because her dress had a cutout across the top of her breasts, her dress choice was blasted in many comments for essentially not being tsnuis enough for this blog.

I'm going to go out on a limb and assuming that the "Sikrikim" Chareidim in Israel are not on Facebook and certainly not fans of Mayim Bialek. Most likely, the same people who post negative comments on Ms. Bialek's posts are the same people who watch the events in Israel in horror. But when it comes down to it, their attitude toward others' observance is not much different than the Sikrikim. We will not be able to eradicate the violent behavior from our midst until we eradicate the judgement of our fellow Jews from our hearts.

Update: I just received an Asara B'Tevet email from Rabbi Silber of Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim in Baltimore. Rabbi Silber is an absolutely amazing rav, and he said something similar to what I said in this post, but he said it far more eloquently.

Tznua Bridal Fashion

In honor of our sixth secular anniversary today, today's posting is about tznua wedding dresses.

I know of two manufacturers that will regularly make tznua wedding dresses that look like the dress was designed to be tznua -- because the dress was designed to be tznua. They are Casablanca Bridal and Jasmine Bridal.

Casablanca Bridal is the manufacturer that is closest to my heart. My wedding dress was made by Casablanca. I loved my dress, and its retail price, at about $1,000, was reasonable by wedding dress standards. The back of my dress is below.



The positives with Casablanca Bridal are:
   (1) They ship tznua dresses as samples to many of their vendors. I was able to try on three tznua Casablanca dresses in the Baltimore area when I was getting married.
   (2) They never discontinue a style and can manufacture any style to your specifications, including neckline height and sleeve length. If given enough measurements, they can also make a dress that, in theory, you won't have to alter after it arrives.
   (3) They offer rush shipping, for a fee.

The negative with Casablanca Bridal is that you won't know exactly what your dress will look like until it arrives unless you can find it as a tznua sample in a store. They do not provide sketches.

Jasmine Bridal gowns run closer to $2,000. I never found a tznua Jasmine Bridal gown when I was dress shopping, so I do not know how many tznua samples they make. They do offer sketches of what the tznua version of gowns will look like on their website, which is a great feature. And, they offer rush shipping options. I know of at least one bride who ordered a tznua Jasmine Bridal gown and she was very happy with her dress.

The best part of ordering a wedding gown through either of these manufacturers is that your gown will not look thrown together in anyway. Your dress's designs will continue to the neckline and onto the sleeves. There will be no "strapless dress line" across your chest. The dresses will truly be designed to wear tznua.

Chanukah sameach again to all!

Tznua Bridesmaid Fashion

Chanukah sameach to all and happy 6th anniversary to my husband and me! When we got married six years ago, it was very difficult to go to a bridal store and find any dress that was tznua without some serious alterations. So my wonderful bridesmaids all loved Watters Style 9423 2-piece bridesmaid dress. If you have three months to wait for delivery, it comes in a wide range of colors and any skirt length can be ordered.  If you don't have three months to wait, this dress is also available for "quick delivery" in five colors, including "meadow," shown in the picture below. I don't know how quickly "quick delivery" ships, but I'm sure it's faster than three months.

This dress can be further customized. My maid-of-honor ordered it with extra material in order to make a scarf for covering her hair. She used the extra material and a narrow, silver, crocheted scarf to create a gorgeous head covering. The dress is technically a v-neck, but the lapels easily fold to make it tznua, as my maid of honor also did. And the skirt is actually a-line. You'd need to alter it to make it mermaid as shown in the picture. Since the dress is two pieces, the top can be worn with a different skirt and the skirt can be worn with a different top so it doesn't look "bridesmaidy" after one's a bridesmaid.

This dress is also available in white, so it could even be worn as a bridal dress. And, since the dress is two pieces, the top could be reworn with other skirts to other functions!

This dress probably currently retails for about $300. My bridesmaids paid $260 minus 10% six years ago.